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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sin Dancing

In my senior year at USC, a weird, artsy woman spent a couple of weeks as the substitute teacher for our acting class. (I know what you’re thinking– a weird, artsy acting teacher?! What are the odds?!) She was not just any acting schmo - she was a regular on the “New WKRP in Cincinnati.” Not the one with Loni Anderson or Howard Hesseman, mind you, but the one with all the second tier stars that ran first run episodes on VH1 a decade after the original show.

Anyway, this woman decided to use some of the time to avoid productivity and force us to do interpretative dances instead. So, in a large studio, we sat around in a glorified “Duck Duck Goose” circle and clapped our hands while some sorry class member stood in the center flailing about in representation of deep, important things.

I should remind you that USC is a very, very expensive school.

I do remember, however, that she asked to perform our own interpretation of the concept of “sin.” So, naturally, I sat cross-legged on the floor and grabbed my ankles and then rolled around like a paralyzed crab. This meant something. I’m almost sure of it.

One girl stood up and mimed smoking a cigarette. She was trying to say something very, very profound, which, I think, involved the badness of smoking. It’s hard to put my finger on it – it worked on so many levels.

What I do remember quite well is the insipid discussion that followed.

The woman pointed out that “sin” isn’t real; it’s just something that’s inflicted on you by “the Man.” And when she said “the Man,” she didn’t mean God; she meant the guy who you ought to be sticking it to. (See Jack Black in School of Rock.) The way to avoid sinning, then, is to deny sin exists and then do whatever the hell you want.

Like most artistes who mistake fashion for insight, she thought she was teaching us something life-changing. Instead, she was pushing a juvenile line of thought that has become all too pervasive in the world at large.

The dictionary defines sin as “transgression of divine law.” I’ve always seen it as anything done against the will of God, which is pretty much different words for eth same thing. But if we listen to Ms. WKRP on this, “sin” is just another word for “guilt,” which is always bad. So instead of question whether or not our sin is something we ought to be doing, we should go out of our way to expunge the guilt and then “sin” takes care of itself.

What she ignores is that if you eliminate the concept of sin, you eliminate the concept of God right along with it. Either that, or you neuter God –you might claim He exists, but at the same time He doesn’t have much of an opinion about anything. Or, even more profoundly, His opinion is represented in your opinion. I remember going to a church service where everyone sang, “I am the radiant light of God,” because His will is manifest in everything we do. So if we want to sleep with prostitutes or beat up a bag lady or slaughter six million European Jews, that’s what God would want, too.

I have no use for a God like that.

C.S. Lewis once said that the inherent knowledge of right and wrong that we all have is the greatest proof of the existence of a God. We all know He exists because we know when He’s unhappy with what we’re doing. If that weren’t the cause, there’d be no room for Him to judge us, because we’d be entirely ignorant of His law.

So, okay, if God exists, then so does His law. Which means that sin exists, too. So what is it?

Well, look at it from another angle.

Supposed we could find happiness in sleeping with anything that moved or slaughtering our neighbors to get their stuff. If God is kind, loving, and merciful, don’t you think He would encourage us to do the kind of things that make us happy? People look upon God as some kind of killjoy who doesn’t want us to have any fun. How puerile is that?

I belong to a religious tradition that teaches “Man is, that he might have joy.” Sins are the roadblocks that stand in the way of joy. No matter how you label them, defy them, or ignore them, they’re still real obstacles to happiness. The coolest, grooviest teacher in the world can reject the label of sin, but she can’t avoid the consequences of sin. None of us can. Sin leads to bondage, to slavery, to limited choices.

Which is why I symbolically bound myself in my interpretative dance.

See? I told you it meant something,

11 Comments:

Anonymous George said...

OK, you peaked my curiosity. I looked up "The New WKRP" on imdb to try and figure out who your teacher was. It appears that you have four choices: Kathleen Garrett, Hope Alexander-Willis, Wendy Davis, and Tawny Kitaen. Any of those names ring a bell? I hope for your sake it was Kitaen. According to her imdb bio, her highlights include dating OJ Simpson, starring in a Whitesnake video, getting arrested for kicking her baseball-playing husband with high heels and twisting his ear, getting addicted to prescription medications, and dropping out of high school. Sound like your teacher?

June 9, 2009 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

It was the second one - Hope Alexander-Willis.

Now she's going to Google herself and get all mad at me.

June 9, 2009 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger WhiteEyebrows said...

I think everyone is with you... up until you start labeling fun, neat, exhilarating stuff as sins. Specifically: sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.

Pretty much everyone can agree that killing someone is wrong, but many struggle to see the nuance of how a pleasurable thing like sex can be OK inside of marriage but inappropriate (or even 'sinful') outside.

Maybe it's just because there is nothing inherently and obviously evil or sinister in these acts - sex is just as good inside or outside of marriage - BUT upon closer examination, it's the environment and purpose for which they are utilized that makes the difference.

Certainly alcohol, sex, drugs, and rock and roll can be used well in the right environments (Nyquil?), but used incorrectly they can massively screw you up.

June 9, 2009 at 12:37 PM  
Anonymous George said...

Too bad. I was hoping it was Kitaen. Would have made for some great stories!

Your teacher hasn't done much professionally since the halcyon days of "New WKRP." I blame it on "The Man!"

June 9, 2009 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Your title led me to believe we would be discussing Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray. But you didn't even get to "Nobody puts Baby in a corner". I'm highly disappointed.

June 9, 2009 at 4:31 PM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

Dancing IS a sin. I learned this from Footloose.

June 9, 2009 at 10:11 PM  
Anonymous MrSin said...

Sin Dancing. It sounds so dirty, I love it!

June 10, 2009 at 5:39 PM  
Anonymous Dawg said...

Actually, eliminating the concept of sin only eliminates the concept of an anthropomorphic God.

We humans insist on stuffing God into our puny little 3-dimensional box, which really does God a disservice, since God is actually infinite and completely beyond our limited comprehension.

However, your interpretive crab-like dance probably was a sin.

June 11, 2009 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger James A. Howard said...

I must know: at the time you performed your paralyzed crab dance did you intend to portray a sinner in bondage?

Nicely done. I didn't see the interpretation coming. But I should have.

This opens up for me a bag of questions about many other quirks of yours. Are you always doing something deeply insightful, beneath most people's notice?

June 13, 2009 at 12:08 PM  
Anonymous wbpraw said...

james - no ..he's not.

June 13, 2009 at 6:16 PM  
Blogger foodleking said...

James -- he's just goofy. Deep down you knew that already.

June 15, 2009 at 8:25 AM  

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