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Thursday, February 7, 2008

Behold: Glen Larson!

(Still no politics. It's too soon. And Romney's dropping out. I don't want to start weeping.)

So Languatron, having been exposed, has decided to expose me. So I thought I'd beat him to the punch. 

Apparently, I'm Glen A. Larson, the creator of Battlestar Galactica, as well as such highbrow television as Manimal, Knight Rider, and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. 

I'm pictured here:


He outlines the whole thing at his site, which you can visit for yourself if he doesn't ban you soon. The site reads as if it were written by a committee of drunken, angry monkeys, so I'll give you the good part here:

  • Glen A. Larson is Stallion_Cornell, and has been for the past nine years on Internet bulletin boards such as http://www.Tombsofkobol.com, http://forums.scifi.com, and of course Stallioncornell.com/board. He goes by other handles as well such as Arthur, MrPostModernist, and Schnorkenschneider. Judging from his Internet behavior during these nine years, he apparently has not wanted the television series he executive produced in 1978 to return in it's original form, Battlestar Galactica. Why not? The Battlestar Galactica series in fact, created by Leslie Stevens, was a top ten hit and was giving Star Wars a run for it's money. Lets give the late Leslie Stevens a round of applause and a standing ovation for his creation. The photo above is of Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell.) Thanks to sources within the inner circle of Utah Chapter for confirming this.

I'm not sure what the Utah Chapter is or which of you Utah Chapter members confirmed this, but unless one of you comes forward and admits you're the leaker, expect an across-the-board cut in pay. 

There are enough people who read this blog who know that I am not, in fact, Glen Larson, but I'm kind of enjoying the notoriety of being a big shot Hollywood guy. I'm ruder now, and I'm having more things catered. It's expensive, but everything should be fine as soon as I get my first royalty check. Maybe the Utah Chapter will be delivering it to me. 

The irony is that I actually knew James Larson, Glen's youngest son, back in Westwood when I was an early morning seminary teacher. He didn't come very often, but he was a nice kid. I have no idea what happened to him. Now that I'm his father, I'm a little concerned about that. I want to be a good father. I don't want it just to be about the fame and the money and the catering. It's mainly about the rudeness, although I'm not sure if the original Glen Larson - the one who was Glen Larson before nine years ago - is rude or not. I think a Glen Larson should be rude. Certainly things should be catered. It's a right. Maybe universal catering will accompany universal health care under President Clinton/Obama/McCain. It doesn't matter who gets elected, really. They're all the same. 

NO! NO POLITICS! What was I thinking? 

I'm going to shave my eyebrows, eat catered falafel, and weep. 

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your time is at an end.

February 7, 2008 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Anonymous_1 said...

I'm in the Utah Chapater, and you Sir, are no Glen Larson.

P.S. Sorry to hear about the Mitt.

February 7, 2008 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger John Larocque said...

"Lets give the late Leslie Stevens"

Holy vanishing apostrophe's Batman. Looks like he's reverting back again.

February 7, 2008 at 11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew I shouldn't comment on your expose post. I didn't want to incur the wrath of the great, but deluded, Langy.

February 7, 2008 at 12:33 PM  
Blogger foodleking said...

Gee... this is really cool stuff. And the Utah Chapter is full of Zionists and other subversives.

February 7, 2008 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

UPDATE from Languatron at his site:

Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell) was recently quoted as saying "I'm not Glen Larson, anyone who reads my blog knows this to be true." Well, the 12 business associates who read his blog will certainly go along with the ruse that Cornell is not Glen Larson. Those not within Cornell's inner circle will visit this web site and know otherwise.

There you have it, business associates. (Is that the same as the Utah Chapter?)

February 7, 2008 at 4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going along with the ruse. You are so NOT Glen Larson (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

February 7, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger Lanky Leopard said...

Can any of us really be sure that each of us is not Glen Larson?

February 7, 2008 at 5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't we all have a little Glen Larson inside each of us?

February 7, 2008 at 8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm Glen Larson!

And what happened to my middle initial?

February 8, 2008 at 3:08 AM  
Blogger AlphaNova said...

Well, Glen, I mean Jim, what are you going to do now?

February 9, 2008 at 9:53 AM  

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