A Utah Mormon's Top 7
Yes, even down in St. George we watched Idol last night. Archuleta was back on form; Cook’s second song was great, and Syesha was dang sexy even if she really wasn’t all that good. But I really, really hope Jason Castro is able to hold on and horrify viewers for another week. Sanjaya was never this bad. His flailing Bob Marley weirdness and his inability to remember “jingle jangle morning” were guilty pleasures, indeed. If he sticks around, you’re going to watch Simon Cowell’s head explode. Too bad Paula wasn’t nearly as stoned last night. I think I’m becoming a Vote For The Worst acolyte.
I mentioned in the comments yesterday that I’d post the Top 10 cool things you need to see in Utah, and then I realized that I’m not sure what they are. I grew up hating Utah – I was a Californian, you see, and Utah was filled with “Utah Mormons.” Now that I’m a Utah Mormon, I’m not really sure what the difference is between Utah Mormons and other varieties. That would really piss off Adolescent Stallion, who I’m sure would view me as a sellout. I sometimes think that if my 16-year-old self met me, he’d smack me upside the head. I take comfort in the fact that my 16-year-old self was kind of an idiot.
My ward in California growing up was not particularly different from the ward I’m in now. The Mormons here aren’t necessarily different – there are just more of them. I don’t think active members of the church take their faith more or less seriously than they do anywhere else, and you have about the same percentage of weirdos and obsessive/compulsives as you find anywhere else. I don’t remember anyone in California thinking that the Chinese were going to invade Gunlock, Utah in preparation for the Second Coming, though – I had to move to St. George to hear that one.
Since Latter-day Saints constitute a majority in Utah, that creates certain opportunities and challenges that were unheard of in LA, but I don’t know if one is better than the other. One thing that startled me upon moving here is how vocal and public critics of the church are willing to be, and sometimes it’s nice to be able to talk about something else. I remember when I spent a year at the University of Utah after my mission, I was aghast at how polarized the environment was between members of the church and those who wanted the church to sink into a large hole. I went back to USC in large measure because nobody much cared one way or the other about my religion, and that was kind of nice.
Geesh, I’ve wasted quite a bit of time. I’ve only figured out 7 of the Top Ten. So here’s what I’ve got.
7) Park City
Famously labeled as being “In Utah but not of it,” this upscale Mecca for the rich and famous has great restaurants and plenty of fun local color, but it’s best taken in during the early summer months or any time when the Sundance Film Festival isn’t in town. Unless you’re dying to see celebrities from a distance in overcoats and sunglasses, stay out of Park City when Redford’s pals come to call. And don’t ski Park City – the slopes are better elsewhere.
6) Skiing at Alta
They say Utah has the Greatest Snow on Earth – and by “they,” I mean the Utah State Travel Council. Still, you’d be hard pressed to find a better place to hit the slopes than Alta, which is just 15 minutes from my home. Brighton is cheaper if you have young kids, but Alta only allows skiers, which makes life easier for those who don’t want to avoid running into snowboarding Jason Castro look-alikes.
5) Temple Square and its Environs
Yes, it’s a huge tourist trap, but spending a day in and around Temple Square is the best way to get a taste of Utah’s pioneer history. The Tabernacle and the Assembly Hall are the most interesting parts, while the Visitor’s Centers are great if you want to know more about the Mormons. Make sure you take in the Church History Museum and the free movie over at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, which manages a fairly accurate depiction of Mormonism’s founder while scrupulously avoiding any reference to polygamy.
4) Zion’s Canyon
Utah has a plethora of national parks, and this one is probably the easiest to get around, due to the cool tram system they instituted a few years back. Great family hikes abound, and you can see most of the park in a day or so.
3) The Utah Shakespearean Festival
They won the Tony Award for Best Regional Theatre in 2000, and it’s easy to see why. You’re not going to find better theatre anywhere in the state, and, I daresay, anywhere else in country, either. Sitting outdoors in a replica of the Old Globe and watching great actors perform Shakespeare – it doesn’t get much better than that.
2) Bryce Canyon
Probably my favorite of Utah’s natural wonders, only because there’s nothing quite like it anywhere in the world. The strange, redrock “hoodoos” are truly fascinating and make you feel like you’ve wandered into another planet altogether. I would probably recommend other national parks except that I’ve never been there myself.
1) Aspen Grove
If I’m really pressed to discuss my favorite place in Utah, it’d have to be Aspen Grove Family Camp, a mile above Robert Redford’s Sundance Resort in Provo Canyon. My extended family has been going there every year for the past 35 or so, and it’s the closest thing to a childhood home I still have left. It’s not for those who get uncomfortable around lots of Mormons or people who actually want to do things on Sundays, but if you’re related to me, it’s where you spend a week in August, whether you want to or not.
I mentioned in the comments yesterday that I’d post the Top 10 cool things you need to see in Utah, and then I realized that I’m not sure what they are. I grew up hating Utah – I was a Californian, you see, and Utah was filled with “Utah Mormons.” Now that I’m a Utah Mormon, I’m not really sure what the difference is between Utah Mormons and other varieties. That would really piss off Adolescent Stallion, who I’m sure would view me as a sellout. I sometimes think that if my 16-year-old self met me, he’d smack me upside the head. I take comfort in the fact that my 16-year-old self was kind of an idiot.
My ward in California growing up was not particularly different from the ward I’m in now. The Mormons here aren’t necessarily different – there are just more of them. I don’t think active members of the church take their faith more or less seriously than they do anywhere else, and you have about the same percentage of weirdos and obsessive/compulsives as you find anywhere else. I don’t remember anyone in California thinking that the Chinese were going to invade Gunlock, Utah in preparation for the Second Coming, though – I had to move to St. George to hear that one.
Since Latter-day Saints constitute a majority in Utah, that creates certain opportunities and challenges that were unheard of in LA, but I don’t know if one is better than the other. One thing that startled me upon moving here is how vocal and public critics of the church are willing to be, and sometimes it’s nice to be able to talk about something else. I remember when I spent a year at the University of Utah after my mission, I was aghast at how polarized the environment was between members of the church and those who wanted the church to sink into a large hole. I went back to USC in large measure because nobody much cared one way or the other about my religion, and that was kind of nice.
Geesh, I’ve wasted quite a bit of time. I’ve only figured out 7 of the Top Ten. So here’s what I’ve got.
7) Park City
Famously labeled as being “In Utah but not of it,” this upscale Mecca for the rich and famous has great restaurants and plenty of fun local color, but it’s best taken in during the early summer months or any time when the Sundance Film Festival isn’t in town. Unless you’re dying to see celebrities from a distance in overcoats and sunglasses, stay out of Park City when Redford’s pals come to call. And don’t ski Park City – the slopes are better elsewhere.
6) Skiing at Alta
They say Utah has the Greatest Snow on Earth – and by “they,” I mean the Utah State Travel Council. Still, you’d be hard pressed to find a better place to hit the slopes than Alta, which is just 15 minutes from my home. Brighton is cheaper if you have young kids, but Alta only allows skiers, which makes life easier for those who don’t want to avoid running into snowboarding Jason Castro look-alikes.
5) Temple Square and its Environs
Yes, it’s a huge tourist trap, but spending a day in and around Temple Square is the best way to get a taste of Utah’s pioneer history. The Tabernacle and the Assembly Hall are the most interesting parts, while the Visitor’s Centers are great if you want to know more about the Mormons. Make sure you take in the Church History Museum and the free movie over at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, which manages a fairly accurate depiction of Mormonism’s founder while scrupulously avoiding any reference to polygamy.
4) Zion’s Canyon
Utah has a plethora of national parks, and this one is probably the easiest to get around, due to the cool tram system they instituted a few years back. Great family hikes abound, and you can see most of the park in a day or so.
3) The Utah Shakespearean Festival
They won the Tony Award for Best Regional Theatre in 2000, and it’s easy to see why. You’re not going to find better theatre anywhere in the state, and, I daresay, anywhere else in country, either. Sitting outdoors in a replica of the Old Globe and watching great actors perform Shakespeare – it doesn’t get much better than that.
2) Bryce Canyon
Probably my favorite of Utah’s natural wonders, only because there’s nothing quite like it anywhere in the world. The strange, redrock “hoodoos” are truly fascinating and make you feel like you’ve wandered into another planet altogether. I would probably recommend other national parks except that I’ve never been there myself.
1) Aspen Grove
If I’m really pressed to discuss my favorite place in Utah, it’d have to be Aspen Grove Family Camp, a mile above Robert Redford’s Sundance Resort in Provo Canyon. My extended family has been going there every year for the past 35 or so, and it’s the closest thing to a childhood home I still have left. It’s not for those who get uncomfortable around lots of Mormons or people who actually want to do things on Sundays, but if you’re related to me, it’s where you spend a week in August, whether you want to or not.
posted by Elder Samuel Bennett | 8:25 AM
7 Comments:
You forgot Goblin Valley. Seriously looks like God came down and played in the mud. Totally awesome.
Stallion,
Thanks for the info. I have these grand visions of taking the family around the country and except for one trip to Aspen and S.F. I have never been west of the Mississippi.
Lake Powell... I know it't on the boarder and in mid summer you melt... but seriously in late spring and early fall there is no better place to relax. Although the water has been low the past few years it is still a breathtaking place. As a child my family used to go there all the time, then we moved to Idaho and although it is a significantly longer drive we still take family vacations down there and enjoy catching lizards and cliff jumping :)
Thats totally true what you say about lds perception here or in Cali. I grew up in Cali also. Over there it's like, "Oh, you are mormon...thats cool...(I don't care)"
Here in Utah, if you are not then there is a good chance you almost hate the mormons.
We like Cove Fort. The Sandy Nickelcade was pretty cool too!
Keep in mind that a "Utah Mormon" is neither a Mormon in Utah nor a Mormon from Utah. The adjective "Utah" isn't about a state, per se, it's about a manner of being. A certain anal retentiveness and self righteousness that is difficult to describe, but easily identified.
And Utah Mormons are everywhere. Some are in California, some in Texas, some in Kansas, and yes, some in Utah. But not every Mormon in (or from) Utah is a "Utah Mormon," and some Mormons who are NOT in (or from) Utah ARE in fact "Utah Mormons."
But I digress.....
ACC
PS - I was in your ward when you were 16. And yes, you were a dork. (Kidding about the dork part...although I was in your ward when you were 16.)
Who are you? Some clues please.
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