Pioneer Day, 10K, and Mitt the Veep

By the way, yesterday’s post failed to mention one of my favorite things about Dr. Horrible: there’s a supervillain in it named Moist! His power is apparently making people feel uncomfortable in damp clothes. I’m pretty sure Joss Whedon got that idea from reading this blog and the Moist Board, though. He owes me a whole lot of royalty money.

Today is the 24th of July, which in most of the world means absolutely nothing, but here in Utah, it’s Pioneer Day, a state holiday complete with tacky parades in 100-degree heat. It’s the day when, back in 1847, Brigham Young arrived in the Salt Lake Valley and said “This is the right place.” They’ve since shortened it to “this is the place,” which sounds vaguely more prophetic. We celebrate by setting off all the fireworks left over from Independence Day, and, in the case of Mrs. Cornell and myself, by running a 10K through downtown Salt Lake City.

This is our second year running this 10K. Last year, when the thing began, I tore off with all the big boys and kept pace running like a madman for about three, maybe three and a half miles. Then I collapsed and started walking, waiting for Mrs. Cornell to catch up with. It took her forever, as her legs are about half as long as mine, and I kept having to start running again so as to keep my male ego from feeling stupid because this tiny lass was faster than I was. This year, I decided to go easy at the beginning so I could survive until the finish line. It was actually pretty nice… until Mrs. Cornell caught up with me again, somewhere between the third and fourth mile. That set me off running hard – and then she caught up with me again, a mile or so before the end. She’s feisty, that one! I finished about a minute or so ahead of her, although we won’t know the final results until the Deseret News publishes them this Sunday. Last year I came in 85th! Of course, that was out of 95 men in my age category. I hope to finish 84th or higher this time around. That would be a tremendous moral victory for me.

We came home to find the Boy Scouts, as is their purview on all major holidays, put up an American flag on our lawn. That’s a nice sentiment, until you consider that the Mormons came to Utah to escape the Federal Government and found themselves at war with them within a decade or tow after their arrival. Ah, well. All is forgiven. We are all citizens of the world, right, Barack?

Ick.

On that note, Orson Scott Card has a great column out now urging John McCain NOT to pick Mitt Romney as his running mate. Why? Because Mitt’s a Mormon, and the South hates Mormons. Keep in mind that OSC is a devoted Latter-day Saint himself, so he’s not speaking as a bigot – he’s just warning McCain that the bigot vote is bigger than he can afford to lose. He’s probably right, but I don’t want McCain to pick Romney for different reasons, which are:

1. McCain is going to lose regardless of what happens, and he’ll pull down his veep along with him. Romney thinks being on the ticket will help him in 2012. I wonder if he still has his Jack Kemp 2000 bumper stickers.

2. The biggest swipe against Mitt other than his Mormonosity is his flip-flopperism. As veep, he’d have to subordinate his common sense views to follow McCain’s nutty lead on no drilling in ANWR and cap and trade, among other monstrosities. It will prove to be one flip flop too many.

3. I loathe John McCain, and I might have to vote for him if Mitt is on the ticket, and I have my heart set on casting my ballot for a dead French undersea explorer.

Jacques Cousteau 2008!