Why Glen A. Larson And Mormonism Don't Mix
Of no real note, this is my 500th blog post. Huzzah!
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time keeping up my previous frenetic pace on this blog - I'm actually a busy guy these days - so I've asked my good friend Languatron to pinch hit for me today. More than just a fringe lunatic in Chicago, our pal Langy now labels himself an "Internet corporation." This is one of his more inspired pieces of stupidity, and it's aimed largely at me and this blog, so I thought I would give it a wider audience than the 4 or 5 people who have seen it over at the Frakheads bulletin board.
The title of this post is his, as is the excrement reproduced below, unedited, unexpurgated, and unhinged. Enjoy!
(All right, I edited one word - I'm not willing to drop F bombs on this blog. But you'll get the gist of it.)
________
Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell, Arthur, Schnorkenschneider, MrPostModernist) has always fancied himself a devoted Mormon. Yet, if his personal conduct on Internet bboards during the past 10 years is any indication, Glen A. Larson is a habitual Mormon and nothing more. He prides himself as being one, yet he is unable to demonstrate Mormonism in his personal life in any way. Surely the Mormon God he habitually worships would have made him more successful in fighting me in the past 10 years if he truly believed in this Mormon God. Yet, here Glen A. Larson is a decade later....still fighting me.....still making no progress in fighting me.....still unsuccessful in censoring me. I post freely on four boards. Three of them are mine plus Frakheads. My three boards remain open to anyone to join, but Glen A. Larson has repeatedly demonstrated his cowardice in being unwilling to join. A decade later, I have grown in strength and am now an Internet corporation. The exact opposite has happened to Glen A. Larson. Instead of successfully getting ride of me, he has unsuccessfully and helplessly watched me grow during the past 10 years.
Psychologically, Glen A. Larson is a 12 year old child and he's a coward. At no point during the past 10 years has he ever tried to refute my blunt facts against Universal Studios. Instead, he has engaged in juvenile stabs at censorship tactics no doubt taught to him by some out of touch flame war consultant who unsuccessfully attempted to instruct Larson and the other Universal Studios stealth marketers on how to fight me.
Surely this Mormon God of Glen A. Larson's should have given him the wisdom and intelligence to fight me during the past 10 years, if Larson knew how to call on him for help. And that's the key. He doesn't. And Glen A. Larson can't call on his Mormon God for help because he takes his Mormon God about as seriously as he takes anything else. Glen A. Larson believes that any of his problems can be solved by being a self believing smart ass on Internet bulletin boards. Glen A. Larson worships his double decker keyboard laptop more than he does this Mormon God. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this has made Glen A. Larson an outcast of his Mormon church. Lord knows Glen A. Larson is on Frakheads bright and early every Sunday morning spamming the hell out of it instead of attending church with his Mormon brethren.
Like anything else, Glen A. Larson uses Mormonism as a punch line if it suits me. But is he serious about the faith? I doubt it. He makes references to Mormonism on his Stallion_Cornell blog, but the manner in which he makes reference to it makes him sound like he is an outsider looking in on the faith and never successfully mastered the art of worship within the faith. He comments on it, he objectifies it, he distances himself from it. I think the status of his life during the past 10 years has been a sad reflection on his apparent snarky attitude towards Mormonism. He's been a literal shut in for the past 10 years, isolated from the real world. His only world has been his double decker keyboard laptop in front of him. What sane Mormon would waste away 10 years of his life fighting someone on Internet bulletin boards over the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? And it was never really fighting. It was just repeatedly posting juvenile spam messages because he couldn't face up to the reality that I was and am completely right.....Universal Studios sucks ass as a corporation and has royally f----d over "Battlestar Galactica" again and again.
Glen A. Larson's Mormon God has probably long since given up on him, not even giving Larson loving family members or children to put their hands on his shoulder and say......"You know what Glen? It's extremely abnormal and weird to have wasted away 10 years of your life fighting someone on Internet bulletin boards because that person has an blunt and honest assessment of Universal Studios. Why don't you shut down your laptop for good and become a member of our family again?" No, Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell, Arthur, MrPostModernist, Schnorkenschneider) doesn't have that. All he has is his laptop, fighting battles he will always lose, and wasting away on the Internet while I continue to succeed at what I've been doing during the past 10 years.
_________________
As you can tell, I'm having a hard time keeping up my previous frenetic pace on this blog - I'm actually a busy guy these days - so I've asked my good friend Languatron to pinch hit for me today. More than just a fringe lunatic in Chicago, our pal Langy now labels himself an "Internet corporation." This is one of his more inspired pieces of stupidity, and it's aimed largely at me and this blog, so I thought I would give it a wider audience than the 4 or 5 people who have seen it over at the Frakheads bulletin board.
The title of this post is his, as is the excrement reproduced below, unedited, unexpurgated, and unhinged. Enjoy!
(All right, I edited one word - I'm not willing to drop F bombs on this blog. But you'll get the gist of it.)
________
Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell, Arthur, Schnorkenschneider, MrPostModernist) has always fancied himself a devoted Mormon. Yet, if his personal conduct on Internet bboards during the past 10 years is any indication, Glen A. Larson is a habitual Mormon and nothing more. He prides himself as being one, yet he is unable to demonstrate Mormonism in his personal life in any way. Surely the Mormon God he habitually worships would have made him more successful in fighting me in the past 10 years if he truly believed in this Mormon God. Yet, here Glen A. Larson is a decade later....still fighting me.....still making no progress in fighting me.....still unsuccessful in censoring me. I post freely on four boards. Three of them are mine plus Frakheads. My three boards remain open to anyone to join, but Glen A. Larson has repeatedly demonstrated his cowardice in being unwilling to join. A decade later, I have grown in strength and am now an Internet corporation. The exact opposite has happened to Glen A. Larson. Instead of successfully getting ride of me, he has unsuccessfully and helplessly watched me grow during the past 10 years.
Psychologically, Glen A. Larson is a 12 year old child and he's a coward. At no point during the past 10 years has he ever tried to refute my blunt facts against Universal Studios. Instead, he has engaged in juvenile stabs at censorship tactics no doubt taught to him by some out of touch flame war consultant who unsuccessfully attempted to instruct Larson and the other Universal Studios stealth marketers on how to fight me.
Surely this Mormon God of Glen A. Larson's should have given him the wisdom and intelligence to fight me during the past 10 years, if Larson knew how to call on him for help. And that's the key. He doesn't. And Glen A. Larson can't call on his Mormon God for help because he takes his Mormon God about as seriously as he takes anything else. Glen A. Larson believes that any of his problems can be solved by being a self believing smart ass on Internet bulletin boards. Glen A. Larson worships his double decker keyboard laptop more than he does this Mormon God. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this has made Glen A. Larson an outcast of his Mormon church. Lord knows Glen A. Larson is on Frakheads bright and early every Sunday morning spamming the hell out of it instead of attending church with his Mormon brethren.
Like anything else, Glen A. Larson uses Mormonism as a punch line if it suits me. But is he serious about the faith? I doubt it. He makes references to Mormonism on his Stallion_Cornell blog, but the manner in which he makes reference to it makes him sound like he is an outsider looking in on the faith and never successfully mastered the art of worship within the faith. He comments on it, he objectifies it, he distances himself from it. I think the status of his life during the past 10 years has been a sad reflection on his apparent snarky attitude towards Mormonism. He's been a literal shut in for the past 10 years, isolated from the real world. His only world has been his double decker keyboard laptop in front of him. What sane Mormon would waste away 10 years of his life fighting someone on Internet bulletin boards over the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? And it was never really fighting. It was just repeatedly posting juvenile spam messages because he couldn't face up to the reality that I was and am completely right.....Universal Studios sucks ass as a corporation and has royally f----d over "Battlestar Galactica" again and again.
Glen A. Larson's Mormon God has probably long since given up on him, not even giving Larson loving family members or children to put their hands on his shoulder and say......"You know what Glen? It's extremely abnormal and weird to have wasted away 10 years of your life fighting someone on Internet bulletin boards because that person has an blunt and honest assessment of Universal Studios. Why don't you shut down your laptop for good and become a member of our family again?" No, Glen A. Larson (Stallion_Cornell, Arthur, MrPostModernist, Schnorkenschneider) doesn't have that. All he has is his laptop, fighting battles he will always lose, and wasting away on the Internet while I continue to succeed at what I've been doing during the past 10 years.
_________________
posted by Elder Samuel Bennett | 10:04 AM
18 Comments:
Languatron is just one of your multiple personalities, isn't he?
Also - He uses the name "Glen A. Larson" WAY too many times in this post. Doesn't this guy know how to use pronouns?
I'm not Lang, no. I've been accused of being Languatron many, many times. It's certainly a more plausible and reassuring explanation than the truth, which is that there REALLY IS a guy like this out there.
And don't insult his lack of pronoun use unless you want to be Glen A. Larson, too.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Have you guys had your 10 year Anniversary yet?
Lang has passed the 10-year mark. But I think the first dustups with SC only go as far back as early 2001.
You can't make this stuff up.
That's actually pretty coherent for Langy.
This just screams Public Access Television.
I'm surprised by the lack of randomly capitalized words. Were it not for the inappropriate use of quotation marks, I would be highly suspect.
Languatron doesn't' stay static. He slowly evolves over time.
He doesn't use the all caps as much as he used to. Something made him give them up.
Additionally, he no longer launches accusations that anyone who disagrees with him is a Universal Executive. Rather, everyone is now Glen A. Larson.
I suppose the source link for Lang's diatribe should be posted here somewhere in the interest of full disclosure:
http://frakheads.19.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=6163
He's also now capable of using the apostrophe S as a possessive. Remember, that was the whole "Bob is Show" debacle - Lang insisted to RGrant that the only time you should use an apostrophe S is when you're conracting the verb "is." So "Bob's shoe" according to Lang, was a way of saying "Bob is shoe."
Yet in this post, he refers to "Glen A. Larson's Mormon God." Which, of course, means Glen A. Larson is Mormon God.
Perhaps Languatron has spent too many hours on the internet battling a person he's (he is???) never met, much as he accuses Stallion.
Well, I don't take it personally anymore, because I am now EVERY person on the Internet who disagrees with him. Which means I'm probably all of you, too.
Gotta luv Langy. Did I ever tell you I made out with Glen's (your) son once? I know, one of many....
Which one? I knew James, but he was WAY too young for you.
.... and I thought the Teabaggers were nuts.
I mean this guy is so "over the top" he could be an administrator at a public high school!
POUNDS
wait...Stallion Cornell "uses Mormonism as a punch line if it suits" Languatron?
Yeah...that sounds like him.
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