Idiot
We're too many people. That's why we have global warming. Too many people are using too much stuff. On a voluntary basis, everybody in the world's got to pledge to themselves that one or two children is it.
We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.
It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid.
Oh, by the way, this is Stallion. I didn't write anything in the preceding paragraphs. No, those are the words, transcribed verbatim, of an idiot. He's a wealthy idiot, to be sure, with a tremendous amount of power and influence - he founded CNN, for heaven's sake - but he's demonstrably imbecilic.
Still haven't figured it out? You've just seen the world through the eyes of Jane Fonda's tomcatting ex, the repugnant Mr. Ted Turner. Businessman. Mogul. Idiot.
Look, Ma! An idiot!
Let's break it down, shall we?
We're too many people.
Really, Idiot? When, precisely, did we cross the threshold from "just right" to "too many?" How much smaller ought we to be? How many of the "too many people" should we mow down? Should we focus on the poor brown folks or should we just start nuking continents at random? You may want to rethink your call to dismantle the military, because that's really going to make things awkward when it comes time to start thinning the herd.
That's why we have global warming.
Globe's too warm for you, Idiot? How warm ought it be? Back before the crowds started to show up, like maybe during the ice age? How about during the impending ice age of the 1970s? And if it's the "too many people's" fault, what will it take to turn the thermostat up or down? How much blood will we need to shed per degree?
Too many people are using too much stuff.
Billionaire idiots have the most stuff. Will you stop using it, please, Idiot? Or is your amount of stuff just right, and it's just those poor blighted furriners who ought to forego the use of stuff and keep living in jungles if they know what's good for 'em?
On a voluntary basis, everybody in the world's got to pledge to themselves that one or two children is it.
Well, you're in luck, Idiot. Europe has volunteered, thereby dooming their culture and their population to virtual demographic extinction in three generations. Of course, those pesky Arabs and such just keep on breeding. What's the punishment for those who don't volunteer? You know, people have had great results drowning their excess cats - you might want to look into that.
We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow.
That's surprising, Idiot, especially in light of the fact that when we actually WERE eight or nine degrees hotter, places like Greenland were growing crops like crazy. See, warm weather is actually good for crops, Idiot. But since not even the looniest alarmists anticipate any more than a one degree change in temperature over the next hundred years, it's a moot point anyway. You ought to know that, but since you're an idiot, I'll cut you some slack.
Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.
Glad to see you anticipate being part of the "rest of us" who'll be still around, Idiot. I can only hope that I'm still around then, because I bet you taste like chicken.
Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.
Say, Idiot, you know what might help people in those intolerable conditions? Stuff. You know, the stuff that we're using too much of. But won't it be sad when we run out of stuff and people and it gets cold again? Oh, wait. That's good, then, right? Because the crops start growing again, but then who's going to make sure we don't breed ourselves back into trouble? Think what that will do to meat prices once cannibals have a wider selection. I'll bet they'll be a run on the supermarket for Norwegians.
It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid.
Yeah, well, I've got news for you, Idiot. Time to reset the clock.
We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.
It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid.
Oh, by the way, this is Stallion. I didn't write anything in the preceding paragraphs. No, those are the words, transcribed verbatim, of an idiot. He's a wealthy idiot, to be sure, with a tremendous amount of power and influence - he founded CNN, for heaven's sake - but he's demonstrably imbecilic.
Still haven't figured it out? You've just seen the world through the eyes of Jane Fonda's tomcatting ex, the repugnant Mr. Ted Turner. Businessman. Mogul. Idiot.
Look, Ma! An idiot!
Let's break it down, shall we?
We're too many people.
Really, Idiot? When, precisely, did we cross the threshold from "just right" to "too many?" How much smaller ought we to be? How many of the "too many people" should we mow down? Should we focus on the poor brown folks or should we just start nuking continents at random? You may want to rethink your call to dismantle the military, because that's really going to make things awkward when it comes time to start thinning the herd.
That's why we have global warming.
Globe's too warm for you, Idiot? How warm ought it be? Back before the crowds started to show up, like maybe during the ice age? How about during the impending ice age of the 1970s? And if it's the "too many people's" fault, what will it take to turn the thermostat up or down? How much blood will we need to shed per degree?
Too many people are using too much stuff.
Billionaire idiots have the most stuff. Will you stop using it, please, Idiot? Or is your amount of stuff just right, and it's just those poor blighted furriners who ought to forego the use of stuff and keep living in jungles if they know what's good for 'em?
On a voluntary basis, everybody in the world's got to pledge to themselves that one or two children is it.
Well, you're in luck, Idiot. Europe has volunteered, thereby dooming their culture and their population to virtual demographic extinction in three generations. Of course, those pesky Arabs and such just keep on breeding. What's the punishment for those who don't volunteer? You know, people have had great results drowning their excess cats - you might want to look into that.
We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow.
That's surprising, Idiot, especially in light of the fact that when we actually WERE eight or nine degrees hotter, places like Greenland were growing crops like crazy. See, warm weather is actually good for crops, Idiot. But since not even the looniest alarmists anticipate any more than a one degree change in temperature over the next hundred years, it's a moot point anyway. You ought to know that, but since you're an idiot, I'll cut you some slack.
Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.
Glad to see you anticipate being part of the "rest of us" who'll be still around, Idiot. I can only hope that I'm still around then, because I bet you taste like chicken.
Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.
Say, Idiot, you know what might help people in those intolerable conditions? Stuff. You know, the stuff that we're using too much of. But won't it be sad when we run out of stuff and people and it gets cold again? Oh, wait. That's good, then, right? Because the crops start growing again, but then who's going to make sure we don't breed ourselves back into trouble? Think what that will do to meat prices once cannibals have a wider selection. I'll bet they'll be a run on the supermarket for Norwegians.
It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid.
Yeah, well, I've got news for you, Idiot. Time to reset the clock.
posted by Elder Samuel Bennett | 2:19 PM
12 Comments:
I remember Ted's campaign to get the Ten Commandments changed. He wanted "thou shalt not commit adultry" taken out (gee, I wonder why?) and something about saving the planet (I think) put in. Idiot.
I wonder if he'll google his name and find this blog. That would be fun.
Oooohhhh... I just love vitriolic spasms of rhetorical composition. Good job today. And a worthy target to boot!
I think we should cut out the population of idiots and divvy up their stuff.
He's seen one too many Mad Max movies on TBS.
well, umm... other than that he's correct on all account, clearly an idiot. he does the braves demi-nazi tomahawk chop along with all the rednecks at the ballgame. actually, i've seen jane do that too, so maybe you're onto something.
"Correct on all account?" Eight degrees and cannibalism in three decades? Is there a single legitimate scientist that would agree with this assessment? He even outdoes Gore by seven degrees and seventy years.
People who call for a thinning of the population scare me to death. And there's an inherent racism in the idea that we've got ours, but developing nations across the world should continue to live with malaria, poverty, and squalor - or "stay close to nature," etc.
I agree with you on the tomahawk chop, I guess. Actually, I don't care much.
Philip? Mr. Fligendorf, is that you?
Oh, and incidentally, Ted "Only Have One or Two Kids, Dammit!" Turner is, like me, the father of five children.
I was going to mention the five kids hypocrisy. Thanks for stealing my thunder, dude.
Btw, anyone who makes Jane Fonda the smart and same one in a relationsihp has serious issues.
I'm voting "YES" on the Fligendorf reference.
Just a hunch.
I heard this last night on the radio.. absolutely insane that he would *point out* in the same breath that it's been a long time since he's said something stupid.
Is that a personal admission that he was overdue, or is he actually alleging that this drivel he is spouting isn't absolute stupidity?
So, is Ted Turner going to personally travel to the thirld world contries where women have no access to birth control and no access to education ABOUT birth control and no access to health care to MAINTAIN birth control measures and hand out condoms for the rest of their lives? Or will he just show up with a traveling clinic to do forced sterilization? Or is he going to just rely on the "honor" system for these folks?
What an idiot.
Oh, and we're going to divvy up his stuff, I've got dibs on his big car. (He has a big car, right?)
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