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Location: Argentina Neuquén Mission, Argentina

Thursday, July 31, 2008

My Other Grandfather

When I started writing yesterday’s post, I intended to share memories about all four of my grandparents. But as I got into it, I realized I was focusing on the end of their lives, and that gets a bit maudlin after awhile. My intention was to illustrate how all of their funerals were really positive events. They were a chance to gather with family and celebrate a great life. At my paternal grandfather’s funeral, my aunt expressed the sentiment perfectly in her eulogy when she said, “He was tired and in pain, so we wouldn’t wish him back. But we do miss him.”

I can tell you plenty of stories about him. Unlike my mother's father, he was ridiculously healthy in his later years. Every day he would walk from his condominium at the mouth of Emigration Canyon to his office downtown and back again. The trek was at least a 10 mile round trip or more. But after he turned 90, he fell down, and he never really recovered. He slowed down considerably and got a bit dingy. One of my cousins, a cardiologist who essentially became Grandpa’s personal, on-call physician, recalls once asking him if he wanted a glass of water, and Grandpa replied, “We Japanese don’t drink water.” Make of that what you will.

Still, up until the end, he had moments of lucidity, and he never lost his sense of humor. He was especially fond of limericks and clever poems, of which he had an endless supply for every occasion. This is the one that was repeated at his funeral:

Little Willy, in bows and sashes,
Fell in the fire and burned to ashes.
By and by the room grew chilly
No one wanted to poke up Willy.

When I was but a lad of three years old, he and my grandmother celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and it was my job to participate in the program by singing a verse Grandpa had passed on to my father, who passed on to me:

James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree
Took great care of his Mother, though he was only three.
James James said to his Mother,
"Mother," he said, said he;
"You must never go down to the end of the town
if you don't go down with me."

I got up on stage and, staring out at what seemed like an endless sea of people, burst into tears. That’s one of my earliest memories – choking in front of Grandpa. I’m now trying to teach the same song to Stalliondo, who has the requisite age and moniker, but Grandpa isn’t around to hear him atone for my mistakes.

He was a man of considerable accomplishment – a businessman and a civic leader, as well as the guy who invented the first “Colorizer” paint. Every time you buy a bucket of white paint and get the Home Depot guys to inject some color into it, you can thank my Grandpa for that idea. In fact, you should probably pay me a royalty, which I’ll be happy to collect on his behalf.

I am his youngest grandson, so I have no real memories of him as a captain of industry or a leader of men. To me, he was just Grandpa, the guy who asked me to sneak him a piece of candy after Gram had put it away before dinner and then let me take the fall when Gram caught me in the act. He was the host of a weekly Family Gathering every Sunday evening, when any cousin in town had an open invitation to drop by unannounced and visit. He was a man who had life in perspective and, even amid the accolades he collected over the course of his career, never took himself too seriously.

My favorite story in that regard was recounted by my cousin at the funeral. Robert Redford once approached him at some official function to introduce himself. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, and my cousin, eyes wide, said, “Grandpa, do you know who that was?”

Grandpa shrugged. “No,” he said, “but people do that all the time, and you have to be polite.”

14 Comments:

Blogger The Wiz said...

How did you get to be so wrong? That was NOT the limerick given at his funeral.

(You were wrong about the Richard Bennett story, too, and I fear that all posterity will have so much inaccurate information becuase of you. It keeps me up at night.)

Here is the correct limerick:
By beauty I am not a star.
There are others more handsome by far.
My face I don't mind it,
becuase I'm behind it,
It's the people in front that I jar.

It was the last one he ever quoted.

July 31, 2008 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

I recall this limerick, yes, but Rosemary also read the Little Willy poem. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

And where was I wrong on the Richard Bennett story?

July 31, 2008 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Dude, you are also so wrong on his age when he fell, as well as the Robert Redford story. He fell the year before he died, so he was well over 90. Also, it's not like he was a spry guy then. He was in a wheelchair by that time, and got up out of his wheelchair to change the channel on the television, and lost his balance. He pitched forward and hit his head, causing the traumatic brain injury and the subsequent loopiness, which included trying to tip the nurses at the hospital because he thought he was at a hotel, and they were the maids.

The Robert Redford story happened at Sundance. The other part, which you either left out or forgot about, was the that same cousin of ours submitted that story to Reader's Digest. When they contacted Redford for confirmation, he denied it ever happened. Which means that both men were shaking hands with one amother without a clue as to why the other one was so important.

July 31, 2008 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Oh, and how can you not include what Grandma said at his funeral? One cousin apologized that his wife wasn't able to be there, and Gram said, "You tell her that she missed a party. A good one!"

July 31, 2008 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

Look, BACK OFF, you people! Criminey!

First off, I said he fell "after he turned 90." I wasn't sure how long after, but that's the age that Dad cites when he talks about his father's decline. I think there was a fall previous to the wheelchair fall, but I'm not sure. In any case, I'm not trying to spread historical inaccuracy here.

And where do I get the Robert Redford story wrong? I said "an official function." I had no idea where it was - it could have been Sundance or anywhere else. Or are you saying that Grandpa was just out to lunch at Sundance and Redford strolled up to him? Maybe that's true, actually, so you may have me there. Although why would Grandpa just be hanging around Sundance? I get the main thrust of the story right, anyway.

Yes, I remember the Reader's Digest element of it, although I don't think that means Redford didn't know who Grandpa was - it just means he wasn't willing to confirm the story happened.

And wasn't it Julie who missed the funeral and to whom Gram directed the party comment?

July 31, 2008 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

And I never heard the maid tipping story. Is that the same hospital visit when he got an official call from a very big wig and hung up on him because he had no idea who he was?

July 31, 2008 at 11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Family, gota love it.

Good stuff Stallion.

LOL

SM

July 31, 2008 at 4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Calling paints "Colored" is bad. I'm telling.

July 31, 2008 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Yes, it was the same hospital stay. And no, it wasn't Julie. It was Bruce's wife who wasn't there. All of the grandchildren were in attendance--that was the year we took all those crazy pictures--from oldest to youngest, tallest to shortest, most pregnant to...um... not at all pregnant. It was the first time in a long time, or perhaps the first time ever, that all of the grandchildren were in the same place. That's why it was so fun!

The thing at Sundance was not an official function. It was a family dinner (or lunch--whatever).

July 31, 2008 at 6:11 PM  
Blogger James A. Howard said...

Since we seem to be relaxing the number-one-cardinal-rule of this weblog by dropping all sorts of hints about Stallion's identity, might we not mention that two of these grandparents are offspring of significant, worldwide church leaders?

July 31, 2008 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

Mention it all you want, James. Although this Grandpa was married to one of the church leader's daughters, not a descendant himself.

Julie missed one of the funerals, though, Heather. I can't remember which one it was.

July 31, 2008 at 7:42 PM  
Blogger foodleking said...

I remember well both of your grandfathers, and you and your brother are credits to their names. Dinner at the Hotel Utah with your Gram was always fun, and I remember listening in on conversations with your grandfather, father, and Uncle David on Sunday nights. They were both GOOD MEN, and that is the best thing that can be said of any man.

July 31, 2008 at 7:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It now makes sense. Preferential seating in Temple, connections, pre-release book reviews.

Your LDS royalty.

August 1, 2008 at 9:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He got punked by his wife, no blogs on vacation blog boy.

Unless you can find a super8

SM

August 3, 2008 at 4:53 PM  

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