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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Things More Fun To Read Than Glen A. Larson's Daily Spam

Glen A. Larson (Arthur, Stallion_Cornell, MrPostModernist, Schnorkenschneider) posts alot of daily crap both here on Frakheads and his daily exlax inducing blog. Here are things more fun to read than anything Larson posts on the Internet.


I. Glen A. Larson's divorce papers from Janet Curtis.

II. Salt Lake City's zoning laws for Glen A. Larson's beer belly.

III. Glen A. Larson's first draft "Manimal" scripts. (They suck just as much as the final shooting scripts did.)

IV. Glen A. Larson's 500 gallon recipe for Pterodactyl egg pancakes. (Each egg is a half mile in circumference. 50 eggs per 500 gallon serving.) Makes one breakfast serving for Glen A. Larson.

V. Glen A. Larson's second season proposal for "Battlestar Galactica" that never materialized. (Hint: It sucks worse than the worst "Galactica: 1980" scripts.

VI. Transcripts from every Glen A. Larson convention appearance going back 16 years. (Hint: He says the exact same thing at every convention spanning 15 years......"A Battlestar Galactica" revival is just around the corner!!" If you've read one transcript.....you've read them all!!)

VII. Glen A. Larson's "Star" on the "Hollywood Walk of Fame." It has to be read to be believed.

VIII. Glen A. Larson's scene by scene replacements (in script form) for the perfectly good footage Richard A. Colla had already shot for "Saga of a Star World." They have to be read to be believed. (Hint: THEY SUCK!!)

IX. Glen A. Larson's contract with ABC-TV and Universal Studios for "Battlestar Galactica." Larson got paid that much money?? Really?? Hacks can make it in this world after all. (Mary Tyler Moore tosses her hat up into the air during the opening title sequence of "The Mary Tyler Moore" Show.)

X. Glen A. Larson's clothing receipts from the Salt Lake City "Big & Tall" clothing store. (Hint: The "Thing" from the "Fantastic Four" also shops there.)
_________________
THE BOOBS ABOVE GLEN A. LARSON'S HEAD ARE HIS PSYCHOLOGICAL SPEED BUMPS.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL HAS ORDERED ALL OF ITS STEALTH MARKETING EMPLOYEES TO CONTINUE CYBER ATTACKS ON THE GENERAL PUBLIC ON INTERNET BULLETIN BOARDS.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS / SCI-FI CHANNEL'S CYBER ATTACKS HAVE INTENSIFIED TO CORRESPOND WITH THE BROADCAST OF GINO'S FINAL SEASON.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL IS THE MOST UNSUCCESSFUL CORPORATION IN HISTORY.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell?

November 19, 2009 at 5:12 PM  
Anonymous Robotonthetoilet said...

Norman, coordinate

November 19, 2009 at 7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, Stallion, enough. We get it. Languatron is a nutcase. Stop posting his crap and give us your own stuff. That's what we like to read, not this BS.

November 19, 2009 at 8:05 PM  
Blogger Elder Samuel Bennett said...

But it's got a crystal, insane beauty to it that shines like butter!

November 19, 2009 at 9:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Languatron is a part of Stallion Cornell. And Stallion Cornell is a part of Languatron. They coexist together in a timeless symbiosis of love and grammar. Separation of the two is not only impossible, but also undesirable.

Both would agree.

November 20, 2009 at 12:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But it's got a crystal, insane beauty to it that shines like butter!"

Stallion, Way to bring the Gay back.

November 20, 2009 at 11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yes. Things more fun to read than Glen A. Larson's Daily Spam are... Different spam!! (Yay!!)

November 20, 2009 at 6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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November 21, 2009 at 9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmmm... Shiny butter.

November 22, 2009 at 8:38 PM  

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